Relationships 101

Everybody’s searching for that special someone but sometimes we find ourselves just settling for what’s available. If you find yourself settling into a relationship where you are trying to convinve yourself that he’s “the one”, make sure you’re both on the same page or he might just surprise you with a goodbye. If you’re not sure whether your relationship is destined for doom or the alter, here are some quick relationship tests to find out.

Compatibility
Compatibility is the most essential, and even more obvious, key to any successful relationship. For some couples, after the buzz of the initial romance wears off, they realise they are not as compatible as they thought they were. When everything is new in the relationship, small nuances and faults are overlooked. When you start to settle with your partner, if you aren’t compatible, don’t settle for wishing something to be true. Sometimes compatibility changes over time in a relationship, and it’s important to understand and accept that people change over time. If you started off on par, you may now have grown apart through interests or career choices, or you’re values may have changed over time. These may be difficult to pick up on, because you’re still holding on to the couple you were and think you still are. However, if you’re not in sync anymore, it may be time to move on.

Bickering
If you are constantly fighting over small issues that never used to be a problem, you may be headed for a split. This is a common sign that you or your partner may have moved on, and don’t find all your little quirks so cute anymore.

Forgetting to Call
This is a rather obvious sign: when they “forget” to call you back; are “too busy” to answer your call, or just plain ignore you in general. You’re not at the top of their list anymore, and it’s time to rethink them as a priority if you’ve already been dropped.

Major Appearance Change
Although some people just change for the sake of change, it’s important to note any other warning signs of troubled waters. If your partner pairs this with any other of these signs, they may be getting ready to change you out of their life as well.

Sexual Interest
If you and your partner are physical with each other, and suddenly you’ve gone without for longer than usual, you may be either in a rut or you’re partner may not be interested anymore. Address the issue, and if it just leads to another fight, getting you nowhere near a compromise, you may have just discovered the solution to the problem. Even if you and your partner are not physical, if you are fantasising about being with co-workers or even random strangers (and you never used to), it may be a clear sign of a little distance growing between the two of you.

If you are experiencing any of this yourself, time may be limited in your relationship. However, if you don’t want to throw in the towel just yet, address the issue and try and work things out. Remember, both of you must be willing to work on your problems in order to find an end to the fighting.

If you’ve decided enough is enough with the relationship, give your partner some credit and break up with them face to face. Be brief and clear that it is over. Don’t give in and make them feel better by giving them hope that you may get back together in the future. If you have no desire to get back together, let it be known. Allow them time to cope with the news, they may be rude and argumentative with the surprise, but don’t join in the fight. Let them say what they need to say, and leave if nothing more is being achieved. Make sure to break up when you are calm, and are able to handle their reaction. Never break up after a fight; you’re highly emotional and they may not believe you, or you may not be able to take it back.

If your relationship is worth it to you and your partner, it is okay to need to work on things. People get comfortable and set in their ways, and often let stresses from work into their personal lives. Remember the reasons you got together in the first place. Yet, if you’ve been working on it but gotten nowhere, it may be time to re-evaluate your situation. People sometimes grow apart through no fault of either partner, and as long as things are ended fairly, both people can walk away with a little dignity and proper closure and with some nice memories intact.