At A Pampered Life, we get excited about the arrival of spring for another reason – the line-up announcements for the summer music festivals.

With a host of big-act announcements already throwing us into a frenzy of indecision about which events we’ll attend, the focus turns quickly to our wardrobe… after all, it’s not all about the music, man…
Festivals provide the perfect platform for self-expression and a little bit of experimentation with your look. It’s the place to rock those pieces you always felt were too outlandish for a barbecue and too casual for a night out. Follow our easy how-to guide to make sure that your look is just as hot as the 38-degree day the festival is sure to take place on!

Think practical
A festival is not the place to break in your hard-won Louboutins, nor is it the forum to debut your fabulous new barely-there top if it requires strategic underwear or any form of breast-tape. Choose pieces that require minimum effort on your part to keep them looking fabulous… no-one wants to be the girl who’s unable to dance because she has to stand at a certain angle to keep her assets inside her clothes.

Wear shoes that:
a)    stay on your feet;
b)    can be worn for long periods of time without giving you a bunion the size of an extra toe;
c)    are expendable – you may get muddy and they may get ruined, so make sure they’re a pair you can part with.

We recommend canvas slip-on shoes like these, which can usually be purchased from under $20 at Kmart, Target or Big W.

Equally, you can’t go past investing in a good old pair of gumboots in case of mud!

Channel your inner hippy
There’s something about the thought of listening to music with friends in the sunshine that makes us feel a little bit bohemian. There’s no place like a festival to get in touch with the flowy, flowery, fringy fashion of the age of Aquarius, so why not embrace it?
Denim shorts with peasant blouses, fringed vests, straw hats or boho headbands (find out how to wear one perfectly here) are all good starts. And it’s a must to embellish with a big pair of sunnies – we love the Wayfairer style as a nod to the Bob Dylan influence.

Accessorise with a smile
No matter what you’re wearing, having a good time is always in style. Grab your mates, have a dance and work that inner-glow that makes your look rock. (Note: the ‘outer glow’ generated by sunburn is not so hot, so remember to slip, slop and slap!)

Images sourced from: Deviantart and Fashionising

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Poor men. That’s right, I said it. Poor men. There is so much conversation (and rightly so) these days about the unachievable expectations that are placed on women from the media, each other and men. This is 100 per cent true. Everywhere we look, society is pulling us in one impossible direction or another, situating us between binaries that prevent any sort of balanced view of ourselves.

But at least there is a conversation about it. While in a lot of ways men have less pressure on them, there is a silent judgement that every man is subjected to which came to my attention a while back… when I discovered I was judging men on the same ludicrous principles I abhor others judging women on.

I’m talking about the concept of manliness. Just as society pressures women to be earth mothers, sexy vixens and career hot shots simultaneously, I would argue that society expects an often impossible balance between meathead and SNAG in our male counterparts.

A few months back, while neck-deep in FIFA World Cup paraphernalia, I stumbled across a picture of Brazilian player Kaka. He was wearing a long-sleeved turtleneck under his team shirt and black gloves on his hands. While he was playing. And my first response (after a quick check with my soccer-savvy editor to ensure this wasn’t some identifying feature of the sports uniform) was to snort derivatively and mutter that he should ‘man up’. Because, of course, being a real man comes down to how much temperature variation your naked skin can stand…

Having cake, eating it
That night I went home, and when my husband sat down on the couch to watch the highlights of that very same World Cup, I suggested he ‘man up’ as well – this time in relation to the fact that he didn’t want to help me with folding the laundry.

It was then I realised that we women want the best of both worlds. We want a man who is brave, strong, resilient and tough (at least tough enough to brave the South African winter while playing a sport without long-sleeved underwear), but we also want a man who is sensitive, caring, and not afraid to pick up a pair of socks and fold them.

Yet while we beg and fight for lenience and acceptance when changing gears between hard-lined career woman to maternal nurturer, we expect men to be able to be all things at once.

When you look up ‘manly’ in the dictionary, it says this:
• adjective (manlier, manliest) 1 possessing qualities traditionally associated with men, such as courage and strength. 2 befitting a man.

Clearly, our social definitions have expanded far beyond this. Strength and courage now stretch to include emotional strength and vulnerable courage. We want our men brave enough to kill a spider but also brave enough to bare their souls and commit to a long-term relationship.

Perhaps, instead of attempting to constantly expand the definitions of manhood or womanhood to include every aspect of our personalities, we should just relax on the whole defining thing in general.

As it turns out, apparently Kaka wears the shirt underneath his jersey because it is emblazoned with a religious message close to his heart. Which shows that rather than being manly or otherwise, he has a deep understanding of who he is as an individual. Which is substantially more impressive than being able to withstand the cold.

Sascha Bertrand

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Pick a day, any day. Now pick a coffee shop, anywhere in the country. Odds are, 10 to one, that somewhere in that coffee shop, beneath the hiss and steam of the coffee machines and the calling out of names written on Styrofoam cups, you will pick up the faint but unmistakeable timbre of two or more women in earnest conversation.

Their tone will be hushed, earnest, and will swing between indignation and utter bewilderment. This is a sound of a woman trying to understand a man. Usually, it is the sound of a woman trying to understand the actions of a man who has just left. Emotionally, physically, geographically… bottom line is, the man is gone and the woman doesn’t know why.

Which begs the question… where are all the men lamenting the loss of their women? Could it be that in some equivalent enclave somewhere (a pub? a changing room? a car?), our male counterparts are having the exact same puzzled conversations trying to understand us? Or is it more likely that contrary to popular belief (and feel free to contradict me here), men actually have a slightly better grasp on the uncertain emotional ground of when to stay and when to cut and run?

For all our protestations of ‘He’s just scared’ and ‘He’s emotionally bankrupt’, could the truth be as simple as women being more willing to stay in an unsatisfying relationship for its own sake?

A relationship for relationship’s sake?
I can’t even count the number of times I’ve sat on one end or the other of that very same coffee-shop conversation, and the phrase ‘But I wasn’t even that interested to begin with!’ has been uttered.

It seems that a lot of women (women I know, at least), are willing to sacrifice their own true thoughts and feelings about a man to the greater purpose of establishing a relationship. When two people go on a date and the spark is not exactly a bonfire, in my experience, the woman is always more likely to give the man a second chance. It’s as though we think we can build a relationship around a man and the relationship itself will be enough to sustain us, whereas a man is far less likely to try to build a relationship until he’s found a person worth building it around.

Of course there are exceptions, but the general consensus among single women in their mid-to-late-20s seems to be that more often than not, they’re the ones who leave a relationship feeling rejected.

So what does this mean? Are women more desperate by nature? Biologically fuelled to chase a relationship at any cost? Perhaps there’s an aspect of societal and biological pressure that makes us want to ‘settle down’, but I believe the answer is more complex than pressure.
Women’s woes

From the minute we come into this world, we’re programmed for sacrifice. Historically, women have a long list of sacrifices following them around. We know we’ll have to sacrifice our bodies (at least for a while) at some stage if we want a baby. Until relatively recent times, women also sacrificed their careers for marriage and their independence to their husbands. Men are still statistically far more likely to leave their families than women are. And half of the women I know are trying to change their bodies to fit an inanimate pair of jeans, rather than changing the jeans to fit them.

With this culture of sacrifice hanging like an albatross around the neck of the female race, is it any wonder that we stay longer than we should in a relationship, and convince ourselves it’s him – and not what he represents – that we’re pining for? If women are to level the playing field once and for all when it comes to relationships, we need to get real with ourselves.

We can’t simply keep throwing our hearts at each man who gives us a second glance in the spirit of appearing ‘available’. There is no shame in realising there’s no future for you and Mr Saturday night. The real pity would be if you let it convince you the fault lay with you.

Let’s stop trying to change ourselves to fit a man, and find one who fits comfortably in the first place.

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Image by: NuageDeNuit

There’s a silver lining to every cloud, even when those clouds roll in over freezing weather and seem endless in their insistence on ruining your tan. Winter! Some love it, some hate it.  But we’ve come up with ten things to love and ten things not to love about this chilly old season we’re in…

Ten Worst:
10.  Lack of picnic opportunities—no-one likes a cold and muddy behind.
9. Dry hands
8. The sick cycle at work…when colds are like boomerangs.
7. Getting up on weekdays
6. Cold feet
5. Naked trees
4. Leaving work in the dark
3. Straightening your hair, only to have it rained on three minutes later and turned into a frizzy bird’s nest
2. The way it steals your tan and leaves you vulnerable for that first beach-day of the sunny season.
1. The rainy-day blues hitting the city like an epidemic

Ten Best:
10. DVD nights on the couch snuggled up in a blanket.
9. Hearty stews
8. Layering all your summer dresses with funky black opaque tights.
7. Fireplaces
6. Skiing trips
5. Soft light
4. Sleeping in on chilly Sundays with someone special to warm you up…
3. Hot Chocolate
2. Blowing smoke rings with your breath
1. That first warm day where everyone gets excited for spring!

Images by: Andrea R and Yurisantin

One of the most important places to get harmony and health is in our bedrooms, right? With a little guidance, Feng Shui can be a great design tool to make our bedroom, and our children’s (perhaps even more important!) a place of harmony and rest. The best way for us to explain this to you is to show you, so watch the following video!

Click here to view the embedded video.

Image by: Richardzinho

While you need to know that these are all things he has said, it is important to note that many are taken from speeches or views he expressed many years, and in some instances, decades ago.

What do you think? As a woman, does this change your views on Mr Abbott? Do you think he should be judged on statements he made years ago? Or do you think the very fact that gender is such a big issue in 2010 is somehow a backwards step and that, really, we should be judging both leaders and their parties on their inherent abilities (or lack of them) rather than their sex.

We can’t wait to hear your thoughts on this one….

Click here to view the embedded video.

Image: Daily Telegraph

Researchers at RMIT are investigating the lifestyle choices and attitudes of pregnant women in order to understand why many pregnant women in Australia are making poor health choices. Preliminary results of the study revealed that many women fail to meet the Australian Healthy Eating guidelines on fruit and vegetable intake.

Whereas once pregnancy was a licence to loosen up the harsh restrictions many women place on their diets, it seems that these days pressure to look good and the ‘yummy mummy’ phenomenon are placing unrealistic expectations on pregnant women and the way they see themselves.

Jessica Tata, the principal researcher for the study, says that this raises new concerns as to overall mental and physical health during pregnancy:

‘If we can understand women’s experiences during pregnancy and the barriers they face in living healthy lifestyles, then we can learn how to best assist women to achieve healthy pregnancies. In particular, women who are unhappy with their body weight and shape and who have difficulties controlling their eating may be particularly susceptible to the pressures of the “yummy mummy” ideal and experience difficulties coping with the changes during pregnancy.’

Negative celebrity influence
It seems that celebrities aren’t helping the issue, either. With every second magazine cover sporting the headline So-and-so’s amazing post-baby body, and supermodels getting their pre-pregnancy bodies back faster than you can snap a rubber band, it is no mystery why some pregnant women are experiencing low body-image and stress about their diet.

Supermodel Gisele Bundchen recently made some controversial remarks about her pregnancy, claiming that the labour ‘didn’t hurt at all’ and, on regaining her figure so quickly, stating, ‘I think it’s muscle memory. I did kung fu up until two weeks before Benjamin was born, and yoga three days a week. I think a lot of people get pregnant and decide they can turn into garbage disposals. I was mindful about what I ate, and I gained only 30 pounds [13.6kg].’

APL news-flash: Gisele Bundchen is a stick-insect/goddess hybrid who has always had a virtually unattainable body, so she should definitely be at the bottom of most women’s list of people to take advice on body issues from. In fact, she may be a robot. A robot with no concept of sisterhood or the damage comments like her can cause women struggling through pregnancy and the myriad of changes their bodies are experiencing.

If you must turn to a celebrity for advice, consider the refreshing comments made by Mia Freedman, columnist, blogger, author and all-round healthy body image guru:

‘When I was pregnant – every time I was pregnant – I would often look longingly at women who were wearing normal clothes. Clothes with non-elasticised waistbands. Clothes with belts. I would also gaze wistfully at women with small boobs. Boobs that didn’t require complicated contraptions with latches and industrial shoulder straps to keep them above waist height. For all that time I had that beautiful plumped up, luscious look of fertility; the one all pregnant women and new mothers have but never appreciate because they’re so busy being brainwashed into thinking they should “lose that baby weight”.’

Nutrition is the key
The most important thing during pregnancy is that both mother and child are having all of their nutritional requirements met. Chances are, when you’re presented with a beautiful, healthy baby, you’re not going to be wishing you’d skipped a few more dinners to fit into those Sass & Bide jeans. Rather, you’re going to be overwhelmed with just how perfect the new life is that you (and your healthy diet) created.

Images: rui guerra, celebritybabyscoop, Just a Temporary Measure

With reports that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have hired a ‘Courtesy Coach’ to cultivate little Suri into a lady (euphemism for the kiddie equivalent of a dog trainer?), one can’t help but worry about the priority we place on manners in our lives and whether parents can still naturally impart good manners and courtesy to their own children. A Pampered Life investigates the mystery of the missing manners…

There are certain things that our mothers taught us not to do. ‘Elbows off the table’ was a biggie. Getting up for an elderly person on the bus was another. Looking people in the eye, saying please and thank you, chewing with your mouth closed and ‘if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say it at all’ are just a few more. Yet it’s not just famous toddlers who need to be taught to mind their p’s and wear ridiculously inappropriate shoes. These days, it’s as though many of us have forgotten those time-worn mantras of politeness, and it’s about time we all got a stern look and a whispered warning from mum. Below are 3 manner(isms) that communications technology seems to have caused to fall by the wayside:

‘If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say it at all’
We’re all for freedom of speech, but the advent of that all-empowering computer screen between us and other people has revised the need to remember the old adage that ‘if you can’t say anything nice, update your Facebook status’. With more and more racist, spiteful, sexist, violent and otherwise offensive Facebook groups springing forth like public belches (let’s not get started on those), the polite response to this would have to be the virtual equivalent of a disapproving look…the almighty de-friend. If the behaviour really requires a response, a comment of ‘unlike’, a report to the moderators and then a de-friending will leave you feeling (politely) satisfied.
The RSVP: Répondez. S’IL VOUS PLAİT!
In days of yore, one would receive an invitation in the mail, consider whether or not they could attend the engagement, and then give that person their written or at least verbal, RSVP.

Today, facebook invitations, wedding websites and group text-messages are more commonly-used methods of informing people of a shindig. And yet, because of the less formal nature of the invite, people don’t feel the need to respond on time, online, or even at all. And it isn’t just so-called ambivalent Gen Y-ers who fail to answer the call to répondez. A recent encounter with a wedding website situation resulted in less than half of the baby-boomer invitees RSVP-ing at all.

Blame it on a breakdown in understanding or an inability to use technology if you will, but if you didn’t have stamps would you simply neglect to send a letter and go about your day? And it takes but one glance at the ‘awaiting response’ section of a Facebook invitation to reveal that people just don’t feel the need to perform this basic social nicety anymore. There’s even a ‘maybe’ option you can click for those fearful of making and breaking a social commitment, yet so many simply refuse to respond at all.

Phone Etiquette
There are a whole host of courtesy issues associated with the invention of the mobile phone and texting. The issue of convenience over courtesy, for example, as shown when texting to cancel five minutes before you were set to be there, texting things you find too hurtful to say to someone’s face and texting through someone else’s speech/presentation/play are just a few.

But the mother of mobile phone courtesy crassness is something most of us do subconsciously. Next time you are at a café, or out for dinner, look around at the tables. Most will feature eating and drinking utensils, salt and pepper shakers…and patron’s mobile phones, squarely beside their water glass. Text messages are frequently read (and responded to) as well as phone calls that are casually answered and, on rarer occasions, made. Somehow it has become acceptable to imply to our friends and acquaintances that their company plays second fiddle to anyone who might see fit to text or call during your rendezvous…and why would they be offended? They do it too.

Do you agree? Do you object to the last minute cancels or to sharing your conversations with absent unknowns? What’s your experience?

Image sources: Tony₂, moriza and mixxology